confections | Small Indulgences

I am too hard on myself. I admit it. I worry much more than the average person, or at least more than the average person lets on. I am a pessimistic optimist – i expect the worst, while always secretly hoping for the best. What does this have to do with chocolate? a hellava lot, i tell ya.

Working with chocolate is hard, particularly for someone who, can be a little messy at times. I can’t help it, and I can’t change it. It just is, and I have learned to live with and work around my ultimately messy nature. Sometimes, a mess can be easily covered up. As one can gather, a chocolate mess cannot be, especially when the chocolate is warm. Over the past few weeks, I think I’ve gotten chocolate on almost every part of my body (settle down – I said “almost”). However, mess or not, somehow, someway, I keep achieving chocolate success. Yet, with each new endeavor, I fear the worst and run the gamut of emotions, from anxiety, panic, frustration, resignation – to finally elation upon receiving the “nicely done” from my rather stoic instructor (this dude knows chocolate). I used to love chocolate – found comfort in it. Now, as soon as I see it, I’m propelled into some kind of chocolate-induced schizophrenia, where it takes all of my might to refrain from screaming.

this is me on chocolate. any questions?

However, ultimately two good, well, actually great things have come out of all this:

1. I am eating less chocolate, thus eating less calories.

2. I made some pretty freaking amazing shit. and by shit, I mean chocolates.

So as I walk through the valley of the shadows of chocolate, I pass along a bit of wisdom to anyone who will listen: never be afraid to make a mess – it’s worth it.