Enjoying the thing you are doing.

The other day, I was driving to work, and I started thinking about leaving. Not leaving home or my job or my husband. No – about going out to things that I was really looking forward to and thinking while I’m there about leaving. I started to wonder why that happens. And what I can do to prevent it from happening in the future. Granted, sometimes you go somewhere and you really are not having a good time, or it wasn’t quite what you thought it would be, and you legitimately want to leave. But other times, I just feel like leaving for no reason. Ask my husband about my weird desire to leave concerts/sporting events/shows at least 30 minutes before the end (sometimes more). Sometimes I even feel this way when I’m the one PERFORMING the concert! I guess I just start thinking about all the other things I have to do; about how long it will take me to get home; about what time I have to wake up the next day; about how and when I’m going to fit in a run. The worst part is that these are not awkward/weird/unpleasant events. These things are FUN! I should be enjoying myself!!! So then why do I often want to leave? I made a conscious decision at that moment: to get to the bottom of this, and to no longer want to leave.

In order to do this, I started thinking about the things I’ve done that I never wanted to leave – those events and occasions that you just wish would stretch on into the wee hours of the morning and then some. What about those things was different? Some involved my husband and when we first met. Ok, that makes perfect sense – that new love and all the excitement and butterflies that come with it. I won’t count those things for now. But what other events did I wish would never end? I remembered back to a Peter Gabriel concert in 2002. It was an amazing show, and I could have sat there and watched him all night. I remembered a concert from high school where I played Eponine from Les Miz and I did not want that performance to end. I remembered pretty much every gig with my old band Sonic Girl, and I never wanted any of them to end. I remembered my wedding day. I remembered a Gillian Welch concert, also some time around 2002. I remembered pretty much all of my classes in Pastry School. I remembered laughing with a couple of friends all night about random things that no one else would think were funny (like how old Ben Franklin would be if he were alive today). I remembered playing and camping at the Newport Folk Festival in 2004.

from our campsite in Newport.

So what do all of these things have in common? For starters, they seemed magical. There was some kind of magical energy at each of these events that made me wish they would never end. But I think it’s more than that. All of these events had two things in common which made them “magical.” Two thing that have to occur in order for me to wish they would go on forever:

1. They are things I am passionate about

2. I have to be fully present

I HAVE TO BE FULLY PRESENT. Sure, being passionate about it is also important, but I could be enjoying so much more in life if only I allowed myself to be fully there to enjoy it! That’s the key. To allow myself to actually enjoy these things while they are happening and not spend my time thinking and worrying about the next thing. Every event can be magical in a sense, if we let it be.

This weekend, I went camping. I  hadn’t been camping in many years, because last time – you guessed it – I wanted to leave. This time, it was different. I wanted to stay. I wanted to breathe the air and enjoy the trees and watch the fire. It was relaxing. It was fun. And i never once wanted to leave.

who would want to leave this??

I’m sure there will be times and events that I will want to leave. But I promise to try my darndest to be there and enjoy each moment as it’s happening from now on. It’s gonna take some time, and some practice. But it’s definitely going to be worth it.

When Life Happens.

I haven’t posted anything in a while.

I’m not upset about that – I haven’t really felt like writing. Maybe it’s because things have been a little crazy. Some major events happened over the past few months:

1. I got married.

2. I went to Prague.

3. My father died.

#3 actually happened first. My father died almost exactly one month before my wedding. Being so sad and so happy at the same time is quite a challenge. And mentally exhausting. This was on top of the stress of planning a wedding in it’s final stages. I really just didn’t have time to write. At least,that was my excuse.

my dad and me, enjoying a moment.

The truth is, I’ve loved to write since I was about 9 years old, when after a class assignment to write a short story about a polar bear, I discovered not only did I enjoy doing it, but I was pretty good at it, too! Every week, I looked forward to Fridays, when we got the chance to write another story. Writing was my passion. Through the years, my focus on it has ebbed and flowed – but I always come back to it. I admit I have many passions; but writing is and always will be the one ring to rule them all.

So why did I stop? Having no time was definitely a contributing factor – but not because I actually had no time for it – I just wasn’t making time for it and I believe that was intentional. When life gets too heavy, I push writing away out of fear. Writing for me, is about truth – about sharing a part of you that no one sees. Sometimes, when life becomes “too much,” I don’t really want anyone to see that.

Another big reason I stopped blogging in particular was because I had stopped baking – I really didn’t have time for that, what with  wedding crafts, family visits, vendor meetings, etc. So no baking = no blogging. That thought depressed me. Why should I have to stop writing just because I had stopped baking? Well, duh, I don’t. There are no rules in writing! That’s the beauty of the craft! So, I stripped away the limitations, and redid the blog. It’s still called Small Indulgences. It will still have recipes and baking adventures. But that’s only part of the fun. Living a life full of Small Indulgences – that’s what I want to do, and that’s what I want to write about. Having coffee with an old friend – that’s a Small Indulgence. Taking a Stand Up Paddle Boarding class with my husband (I still smile when I get to call him that) – that’s a Small Indulgence. Scratching my cat Gandalf the Gray behind the ears until he starts purring – that’s a Small Indulgence. Heck, watching the next episode of Game of Thrones is even a Small Indulgence! The little things we enjoy, that make us smile and warm our hearts – these are the things that matter. These are what life is all about. These are things worth sharing. And hence forth, they will be shared.

It’s not the size that counts; its how you live it.

So let’s get out there and live. 🙂

living it up in Prague.

Recipe: Madeira Cake with Lemon Whipped Cream.

Up until last week, I had no idea what a Madeira Cake even was. I was going through some old magazines, and happened to stumble across the recipe for it in an issue of Cake Craft and Decoration from February of 2012. If you are unfamiliar with this magazine, it’s based out of the UK, and as such the recipes are geared more towards someone doing their baking there. However, this recipe sounded pretty good, and after reading about what a Madeira Cake actually was (a dense sponge cake – close to a pound cake in consistency, usually eaten with tea or sometimes for breakfast), I decided this would be my next project. Truth be told, I think what really excited me was the fact that it called for caster sugar, and I had specifically purchased a bag when I was last in the UK just so I could experiment with it, and finally here was my big chance.

the travelling bag of sugar.

The recipe also called for either margarine or butter, stating that butter gives a better flavor but margarine gives more rise, so a combination of the two would be best.. Because I harbor a vehement hatred for margarine, I had none in the house. I did, however have shortening, so I decided I’d try a butter/shortening combo instead. The recipe also stated that the classic Madeira cake has two to three thin slices of citron peel on top. I really just didn’t want to decorate it that way, so I opted for sifted confectioners sugar.

sifted sugar coat.

Additionally, I whipped up a batch of lemon whipped cream, and served each slice with a generous dollop on top.

breakfast dessert is served.

Keeping with the tradition, I just had a slice for breakfast, although I drink coffee, not tea. But either way, cake for breakfast is never a bad thing. Don’t knock it until you try it, my friends. 🙂

Just one last quick note before I get into the recipe – this cake DOES NOT bake at 350. DON”T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. It bakes much lower, for much longer. Don’t rush it. It will be worth it, I promise. Good things are always worth the wait.

Madeira Cake (adopted from Cake Craft Magazine).

What you’ll need:

8 oz caster sugar

4 oz butter

4 oz shortening

4 eggs

12 oz flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

What you’ll do:

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees. In a large bowl, cream together the sugar, butter, and shortening until fluffy. Beat in the eggs, one at a time. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour and baking powder. Mix in the dry ingredients, one third at a time. Do not over mix – once everything is combined, stop mixing, and pour the entire thing into a well-greased 8″ pan. Bake for 1 hour and 25 minutes.

Once cooled, sift confectioners sugar on top. Serve as is, or with the topping of your choice -. lemon whipped cream works really well.

 

Eat, Write, Retreat – Renew.

Over this past weekend, I had the pleasure of attending the Eat, Write, Retreat! conference, which just so happened to take place this year in my home city of Philadelphia. In addition to the conference being amazing and totally inspiring, I had the opportunity to see the city I grew up in through the eyes of a tourist. Many of the people I met at the conference were not from around here – some of them had never even been to Philly before. There’s something to be said for looking at a place you know better than any other through new eyes – its like John Lennon said, “All these memories lose their meaning, when I think of love as something new.”

Indeed.

The conference started on Friday afternoon, and even as I made my way down the oh-so-familiar street known around these parts affectionately as “Broad Street” (heck, I even ran 10 miles down this street on foot – twice!) it for some reason, seemed entirely new. So, I began snapping photos, as any good tourist would do.

all these places i remember…

I can’t really quite explain how all of a sudden, old familiar scenes were being graced with such newness and seemed to come alive – but I’ll take it.

The conference itself was a truly wonderful experience as well. I was beginning to lose faith in my dream of writing/baking/traveling/photographing; I was questioning my “purpose” and if I was still on the right path. Eat, Write, Retreat and all the fabulous folks I had the luck of crossing paths with put those fears to rest. I believe again. Maybe it had something to do with all the watermelon we ate. I do love me some watermelon.

a spiritual experience?

Seriously, although the watermelon was delicious, it was the people that I met that gave me confidence again – through their various presentations, to off-the-cuff sharing of tips and knowledge, to nothing-to-do-with-blogging-at-all friendly walking and talking around the city.

Philly’s very own Magic Garden.

Meeting new people has always been one of my favorite things to do – I dare say I even thrive on it. Halfway through the conference, I had already had so many great conversations and connections, I wasn’t sure if it could get any better — but it did. And not only because there was cheese (although it certainly didn’t hurt).

everything’s better with cheese.

The very last thing we did was called “Pitch to the Pros,” in which we had a chance to sit with more established bloggers and ask them anything we wanted. I was rather nervous – I had nothing planned and didn’t even begin to know what to ask…I considered bailing out of fear and lack of preparedness; but I knew that would be the worst thing I could do. So onward I trudged, deciding to do my best just winging it.

It was those conversations that wound up restoring my faith the most – reminding me why I’m doing this to begin with. I love writing. I love baking. I love taking pictures. And as much as I love traveling, I can find all of these in my very own hometown, if I just look around once in a while.

who knew mushrooms could look this cool?

I have to say, that in addition to the conference, there have been some wonderful and amazing things going on in my personal life recently that I believe I owe a large portion of this new perspective to, as well. May you all find someone who awakens that light within – who makes everything exciting and new again – even good old Broad Street.

in my life, i love you more.

The Brussels Chocolate Shop Tour, Stop #10 (The Final Frontier): Frederic Blondeel.

After Stop #9: Laurent Gerbaud, and having already visited  a total of 5 shops AND various tourist attractions in between, I  walked back to my hotel and considered calling it a day. However, the tour had progressed more quickly than I had anticipated, and it was still rather early.  So, I ate some of the various wares I had accumulated thus far, rested for a few moments, ventured out onto the snow-covered balcony, and did something that has become a kind of tradition when traveling alone – I took a picture of myself with the city as a backdrop.

allow myself to introduce…myself.

Ok, so granted, you can’t see all that much of the city. But I know it’s there.

I realized at this point, that I wasn’t tired. I’d slept over 9 hours the night before (stupid jet lag catches up on a gal), so I still had a decent amount of energy. I decided to harness it, and make the trek to the final shop on the list –

Stop #10: Frederic Blondeel.

The walk to Frederic Blondeel was full of the interesting and unexpected; from a giant wooden statue of two mystery animals…

where the wild things are.

…to a restaurant I thought had gone bankrupt years ago (at which I was also an employee, back in my college days)…

we’re huge in Belguim.

….to not-so-properly-translated-into-English-titled eateries….

what kind of cuisine could they possibly serve?

….to the truly awesome in every sense of the word – St. Catherine’s Church.

magnifique.

And to think – I didn’t even need to go out of my way to see any of this.  As I walked around St. Catherine’s, Frederic Blondeel was right in front of me. It was super cute inside –  the décor was mostly earthy , with wooden everything, and splashes of color here and there.

fun sun.

There was even a rather charming seating area off to the left.  But the most important thing, and the reason I wandered all this way to begin with was, of course, the chocolates.

boxes of goodness.

And the moment of truth arrived – what do I choose? I’d already been to 9 shops. 9!! At this point, I wanted something unique, but I also really wanted to sample what the shop had to offer. So, I did what anyone would do in this situation – I went for a mixed bag and just started picking what looked at sounded the best.

That white powdery ball was a champagne truffle. And it was fantastic.

And there you have it. 10 shops in 2 days.  I came, I saw, I ate Belgian chocolate. I drank Belgian beer.  It was snowing. It was freezing. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my entire life.  🙂

The Brussels Chocolate Shop Tour, Stop #9: Laurent Gerbaud.

It was a long walk back from Stop #8, Zaabär, and upon further investigation of the map, it appeared that there were many interesting tourist-y spots along the way to the next stop, so I decided to take advantage of this, and explore some of them, such as:

the museum area…

ring wraith?

…the Place de Palais…

Koninklijk Paleis van Brussel.

….and the Parc de Bruxelles.

within the park walls…

…lived two little cherubs.

As the exploratory fun came to a close, I found myself practically right at the entrance of:

Stop #9: Laurent Gerbaud.

I was in love as soon as I saw this sign on the window. There’s something to be said for good looks. I definitely wanted to know more…

Inside, the fun kept going, as I was greeted by this display:

choco-art.

This place was like my aesthetic heaven. It was colorful, fun, and upbeat; kinda like myself. Plus it was full of chocolate (also kinda like myself at this point). I browsed around, and finally settled on something I’d been seeing at many shops throughout my journey, but that I’d never seen back home – chocolate covered pieces of dried fruit. Being that I love both chocolate and dried fruit, I had to try it. Deciding on what type of fruit was the hard part. After much deliberation, I went with a fruit I don’t see in dried form too often at home – pears.

the perfect pearing.

Well, I was by no means disappointed. The dark chocolate and pears were, as you may have guessed, the perfect pairing.

As I paid for my goods, I came face to face with this glaring declaration on the back wall:

fo’ sho’.

And by Jove, it was true. And, quite possibly may have never been truer. 🙂

Hang in there for the grand finale – the final stop on the tour: Stop #10, Frederic Blondeel: way over yonder in the minor key… 

The Brussels Chocolate Shop Tour, Stop #7: Wittamer.

I walked out the door of Passion Chocolat (Stop 6#), turned right, walked a few steps, and BAM! There was Wittamer. They were so close, I was completely caught off guard, and a little bummed – this did not give me much of a walk to burn off any chocolates eaten thus far.( I’d come to find that I’d definitely make that up later on.) But I was content nonetheless, to enter my next destination on the list…

Stop #7: Wittamer.

Wittamer was pink. That was the first thing I noticed.

pretty in pink.

Now I like pink. Just ask anyone who knows me. This place was super pink. I’d even call it Super Pinky. I didn’t mind. For most of us, pink = sweet = desserts. And Wittamer sure had some good ones. In fact, this was the first shop that had actual desserts other than chocolates. There was a whole display case dedicated to pastries incorporating chocolate in some form.

it’s a pastry party.

I teetered along the fence of getting a straight up piece of chocolate or going with a full on pastry. The tour was technically a chocolate shop tour so I should probably get some chocolates, but the pastries had chocolate in them and I’ve eat nothing but chocolates for dessert for like, 24 hours now….

I went with the pastry.

hello, happiness.

I selected the Nid Marron.  I had no idea what was in it. I’d never seen anything like it before. I could not wait to get back to the hotel and try it out. I carried it around to two more shops and about 20 tourist locations before finally going back and digging in.

make her open the box.

I placed the box on my little balcony table and delicately opened it. I could not believe how beautiful it was up close. Not to mention, it’s heavenly smell.

c’est bon!

I took a bite. I hadn’t planned on eating the entire thing, but after that first bite, there was no turning back.

as beautiful on the inside.

I still didn’’t really know what I was eating. I tasted a little chocolate….something nutty….whipped cream….custard? It was flat out fabulous! I needed to know what made this pastry hands-down one of the best I’ve ever had. So I started googling. I looked up “Nid Marron Pastry” and found a recipe entirely in French and some photos, all from the same blog post,  also in French, which showed various versions from different shops in Paris (some of which I visited on the  Paris Patisserie Tour, but I did NOT see this bad boy anywhere – I would have remembered).  What I did learn from this French blog was that this dessert was apparently also known as a “Mont Blanc.” So…I googled that and there it was.  And there were even some recipes, in English!

Hallelujah! Mont Blanc, here I come!

Next up, way out on the other side of town – Stop #8, Zaabar: the Ikea of chocolate shops.

The Brussels Chocolate Shop Tour, Stop #5: Pierre Marcolini.

After a whirlwind first day of chocolate shop touring, I was able to nap, have a relaxing meal at a small bar/cafe called Au Soleil, which I highly recommend for both its drink selection and cozy and hip atmosphere. Not to mention its nifty wall art:

talk birdie to me.

After my leisurely dinner (which was a “wrap” – there were only about 5 items on the food menu, with no descriptions – however I was extremely lucky and the wrap turned out to be delicious) and a glass of framboise, I meandered back to my hotel, through the whimsically lit and lively musical streets of a Brussels’ Sunday evening. I slept extremely well, and woke up the next morning, refreshed and ready to take on the next lap of the tour, starting with:

Stop #5: Pierre Marcolini.

When you walk in to Pierre Marcolini, the very first thing you see is a giant disco ball. That was all it took – I knew I was going to love it here.

disco chocolate.

I began strolling around – this place was no joke. The chocolate was clearly high-end. The theme was modern, yet not stuffy – the staff mirrored that as well. I was asked if I needed help multiple times, in french of course. I scoped out the two counters and various wall displays, and realized this was going to be a tough decision.

the great wall.

As if it wasn’t hard enough already, I noticed in the back of the store what appeared to be a staircase…and sure enough, there was a second floor, beckoning me to come and get lost in a whole other chocolate dreamscape.

follow the black carpet stairs…

I followed the pointing hand, as if it had taken over my mind and my will, and went up the stairs to the second floor. I was not sorry.

up and away.

I was lost in a dream, only I wasn’t dreaming. But if i were to dream up a chocolate shop, Pierre Marcolini would be it. Still in a haze, I wandered back down the stairs, with empty hands. I had no idea what to get. I wandered over near the counter, when a very handsome young man asked me if needed help. I was instantly brought back down to earth and said, “yes!” even though I still wasn’t sure what I wanted. I quickly turned, and grabbed a package of spiced chocolates that I had my eye on, not wanting him to move on to the next customer (and because they really did look amazing).

spicy.

.I decided that I’d also get a few macarons, so I followed my new crush over to the other counter, where he packaged up three macarons I selected to eat later. As I paid for my goods, he began chatting with me in english, noticing first that I was left-handed (just like him, and what seemed to be the majority of people in Brussels, oddly) and asking me where I was from, etc. As he handed me my receipt and bag of earthly delights, he winked. I kid you not – I know what I saw. Practically skipping with glee out the door, I turned back one last time to get a look at the chocolate shop that would become my favorite of the tour, and my favorite Belgian dreamboat. Sigh.

As for the chocolate – it was excellent, as expected. It made it hard to eat plain old American chocolate ever again. Of course I still eat it, but with each bite, I feel a pang of longing for that fine Belgian….chocolate. I was going to say chocolate.

Next up, rather appropriately: Stop #6: Passion Chocolat – love is in the air…

The Brussels Chocolate Shop Tour, Stop #4: Chocopolis.

I was starting to grow a tad weary after tour stop# 3, Leonidas, mainly due to the complete lack of sleep the night before, having arrived in Brussels at 6 am from New York, dropped my bags off at the hotel, had a coffee (or three) and breakfast, and dove right into the tour all before 9 am. It was now around 1, and I was quickly losing steam. I considered just returning the hotel at this point, taking a long overdue shower and nap, and heading back out afterwards, but as fate would have it, my proposed stop #4 just so happened to be on the way back to the hotel. And as I walked up to the entrance and was greeted by the large faux chocolate elephant, I realized there was no way I was just gonna walk on by. So, I decided to make one last stop for the day at:

Stop #4: Chocopolis.

Appropriately named, Chocopolis was big – a chocolate metropolis for sure. I walked in and immediately to the right, were a few gentlemen around a hot chocolate station, sipping cups and chatting away in french. Behind the giant counter in the center, two women were actually making some chocolates, and encouraging folks to gather ’round and watch while they demonstrated their craft.

chocolate theatre?

I grazed around the counter, while a third woman flitted about, tending to customers and asking me if I needed help (in french). Nothing had been calling out my name as of yet, so I declined politely and continued my perusal. It wasn’t until I began cruising the perimeter that I saw it – glowing like a full moon on a dark winter’s night, beckoning me to come closer. As the gravitational pull of awesomeness drew me, I reached up for it, the perfect combination of Belgium’s two greatest natural resources: Chocolate Beer.

the dream we all dream of.

Now I’ve had chocolate beer before, but it was a chocolate flavored beer – not a beer made out of chocolate. As I picked one up off the shelf, I was momentarily disheartened as I discovered these chocolate bottles were not actually filled with beer. I still thought I’d buy one, just because they were way cool. But as I began walking away from the shelf with bottle in hand, I started having second thoughts. There was no way I was going to eat this entire beer bottle in two days, especially with 6 more chocolate shops to sample! And carting it around Europe for the rest of the week or even eventually back to the states just seemed unrealistic. So, I placed the bottle back on the shelf, and hung my head. While looking down, I happened to notice a shelf of mendiants just below and to the left. I never see mendiants at home, and I loved them when we made them in pastry school, so…I picked out a mixed bag (white, milk, and dark chocolate) and was on my way.

it’s in the bag.

There was  even one super cool one that looked all outer spacey. I ate that one first, but all three varieties were slammin’. I just wish I could find mendiants more easily at home in New Jersey. I guess I’ll just have to start making them. I could start the next big dessert craze.

i got this.

At this point, not even the best chocolate in the world could keep me awake. As I laid in bed, I drifted off to sleep while visions of fine Belgian chocolates danced in my head. Sweet Dreams, indeed.

Stay tuned for Day 2, which begins relaxed and refreshed at Stop #5: Pierre Marcolini – three floors of “club chocolate”.

The Brussels Chocolate Shop Tour, Stop #3: Leonidas.

After leaving Planet Chocolat (stop #2), I decided to do some quick site-seeing on my way to stop #3, and pay a visit to the most famous little icon in Brussels – the one, they only, Manneken Pis.

the city mascot.

Manneken Pis (also known as “The Peeing Boy”) is a must-see for anyone visiting Brussels. Much like the Mona Lisa, he is small and unassuming, and you’d almost walk right past him without even seeing him, if not for the gaggle of tourists constantly buzzing about, taking his picture (myself included). I heard that he sometimes is dressed in costume, and I was hoping I’d get lucky, but alas, the Manneken Pis was donning only his birthday suit during my visit. Maybe that is considered lucky.

Anyway, once again proper planning and plotting worked in my favor, and stop #3 just happened to be right across the street from the boy wonder. So I took my pictures, and crossed over, to:

Stop #3: Leonidas.

It’s a chain. A chocolate shop chain. They were all over the city. But I had heard good things, so I wanted to include it on the tour – I do not discriminate when it comes to chocolate. So I chose the one in the most touristy part of town, and headed in. It was on the small side, and almost could have been a shop back in the States, based on looks alone. I scanned the displays, seeing what caught my eye.

there’s no wrong decision here.

All I can say is nothing jumped out at me, but I wanted everything, if that makes sense. There was no “star of show” or “breakout sensation” like there was in some of the other shops. No, here in Leonidas, this was an ensemble cast – all equally talented and together, could win best picture.

a chorus line.

So, I did what any chocolate lover who couldn’t make a decision would do – I bought a mixed box.

pretty as a present.

It was already wrapped – so I had no idea what was inside, which made it all the more fun! Honestly, it’s virtually impossible to get a bad piece of chocolate in Brussels, so I really wasn’t too concerned. I kept the box sealed and kept it secret and safe until later that day, when I returned to my hotel, and had the grand unveiling.

you never know what you’re gonna get.

Can you believe my luck??? Now, I just had to decide what to eat first. That red glittery piece definitely was calling to me, so I started with that. Marzipan!! It was Marzipan!! I love Marzipan. This was going great. I ate another one, because, I mean, I had to try some actual chocolate from the joint, so I went with one of the chocolate coins. Oh l’amour! Chain as it was, Leonidas’ chocolate could still hang with the best of them. Definitely worth checking out, and very convenient for tourists (if you’re into that sort of thing). 😉

To be continued in the next post: Stop #4: Chocopolis – it’s big, it’s bad, it’s got chocolate beer bottles.